The senior sermon of Catherine Tyndall Boyd, Class of 2006 from the Diocese of Texas, given on September 21, 2005, in Christ Chapel

The Feast of St. Matthew

In the name of God, who calls us to follow. Amen.

Anyone who has perceived a call from God -- and I imagine that includes more than a few of us in this place today -- may well be chagrined to hear that Jesus calls not the righteous, but sinners.

Today we celebrate this fact, however, as we observe the Feast of Matthew, the first outright sinner to be called by Jesus.

On the Church's feast days, we have a chance to observe with a kind of clarity that we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. On these days, we celebrate our connection to the communion of saints.
Today on the Feast of Matthew, when we look at this story of Jesus' call to follow, we reflect on Jesus' call of Matthew as a archetype of our own call. This is a two-part reflection: One: we consider the source of the call -- who it is doing the calling -- and Two: we consider the challenges we face in responding and following.

The story of Matthew's call appears a full third of the way through the first Gospel. Jesus has already gathered the first four disciples: Peter, Andrew, James, and John, and he is well into his ministry. Demonstrating his authority over the material world, Jesus has healed lepers, calmed a storm, and driven demons into a herd of swine. Several would-be followers (perhaps put off by that swine-thing) have decided not to follow Jesus.

It is at this point in the narrative that Jesus approaches Matthew, who is minding his own business -- literally -- at his tax-collecting table. The way the first gospel tells the story, Matthew is the only one of the disciples to get his very own individual call: Peter, Andrew, James and John all had their brothers tagging along. And the rest of the Twelve simply appear on a list a page or two later, with no specifics at all.

All of this suggests to me that there is no such thing as a "standard call" from God, no formula for specifics. What is consistent is the One who issues the call. Oh, I know it is easy to doubt one's own call: but just ask around the seminary. Among staff members, students, faculty, spouses -- that's 250+ people, as you know from your e-mail -- there are no doubt 250+ variations on what the call looks like. The only real consistency is the One who calls.

So let us consider for a moment this One who calls: this one who has authority over all things.

Psalm 119 describes the relationship between God and the psalmist. Listen again to the action-packed words of the psalm. Listen, too, to who is doing what: Teach me, O LORD. Give me understanding. Make me go. Incline my heart. Turn my eyes. Give me life. Fulfill your promise. God is the primary actor in this drama; the psalmist's task is nothing but to long for God's commandments. The Spirit blows where it will, after all, and it is our job to respond. Jesus said to Matthew: "Follow." And Matthew followed.

But what are some of the challenges we face when we try to follow? How do we know we are on the right way?

We say in the Nicene Creed that we believe in one God, the maker of "all that is": seen and unseen.

We who seek to follow Jesus Christ must always evaluate those things we see. True knowing comes from our intimacy with God, our experience of God as we live out our faith in community.

The problem is that the "things seen" have such powerful centrifugal force. We are pulled off center, away from that place where our will and God's will dwell together.

What does this look like, this off-centering force? Sometimes we seem to receive conflicting messages from God. Or our house turns out to be built on sand. Or we learn something about ourselves that makes us afraid, and we doubt God's call. Or we find ourselves so busy with "stuff" that we neglect to pray. Our minds become clouded and we doubt the path.

Here's one story of a call to serve: the story of Lamont Cranston, aka: The Shadow. In a 1994 movie, Lamont has a disturbing past out of which he has been called to serve the greater good. (I imagine more than one of us can relate to that.) As the film nears the final confrontation with the megalomaniac, Lamont follows his gut feeling to where he knows the bad guy's headquarters must be. He finds instead an empty city block. Nothing is there but a chain-link fence surrounding an abandoned construction site. Trash blows around the asphalt. Lamont stares at the empty space, confused that his inner sight conflicts with what he sees with his eyes. He knows he is in the right place. He concentrates on clearing his mind. And when he does, we see "reality" shift. A monolithic building-heretofore invisible-emerges from cloudy shadows. What is has been blocked from sight is clearly there, after all.

Sometimes we respond to God's call to follow, only to be sidetracked by centrifugal forces, confused by what we see with our eyes. We must remember who it is that calls us, that is, the creator of all things seen and unseen. We must clear our minds of the distractions of this world, so that we can see the true path to follow.

Our sense of "call" may shift shape; those things seen and unseen may get confused. But just as CS Lewis says that the Shadowlands are only a reflection of Narnia, the true country, this world is only a mere shadow of God's reality. The discernment of the community can help us here.

The scriptures we heard today day point the way. From Proverbs: Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge God, and God will make straight your paths. And again in the lessons assigned for the Feast of Matthew, from Second Timothy: As for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it.

One final citation, this one from a non-canonical source, Emmylou Harris: I hear a call from out of nowhere/and from everywhere I go. I see a light, now will I follow?

May it be so. Amen.