Show Up. Listen. Tell the Truth

by Molly Bennett, Director of the Certificate Programs in Youth Ministry and Christian Education at ETSS

"The challenge raised by evangelism with youth and young adults is formidable. It is not because they present us with problems that we cannot solve, but rather because they bring us gifts that we may not be willing to receive."
Lisa Kimball, 2001 Harvey Lecturer

"Show up. Listen. Tell the truth." This is the rule of life followed by 2001 Harvey Lecturer Lisa Kimball, and from which she claims to have acquired her understanding of young people.

In the first of Ms. Kimball's two lectures, "Teenagers & the Church: 21st Century Trends and Opportunities," she explored some of what it means to be an adolescent in America today. She described the challenges of post-modern life for the Episcopal Church and for individual Christians. She made reference to issues arising from the internet as a "way of life" for young people, the changing shape of family and work, an increasing world population, a widening gap between rich and poor, re-urbanization and most urgently, the shortage of mature adult Christians available to mentor and guide our teens.

Those in attendance were challenged to proclaim the Gospel to a generation of skeptical and passionate young people by shedding the layers of institutional denominational maintenance and claiming our core identity as Christians. Authenticity as Christians, with an emphasis on the Baptismal Covenant as a road map for the 21st century was an overarching theme of both lectures.

In her second lecture, "Divine Intersection: Teenage Bodies and Christian Theology," Ms. Kimball addressed the issue of adolescent sexuality.

Ms. Kimball challenged our seminaries to "..create opportunities in the context of theological education for seminarians through prayer, study, and reflection to examine their own experience of human sexuality - to get honest by acknowledging the skeletons in their own closets and, when appropriate, to confess their sin, to be freed from their secrets of shame, and to celebrate the mystery that is human sexuality. Only then will they be able to clarify their own values and practice a sexual theology with integrity."

I believe that teaching about sexuality is probably the area in which Youth Ministers and Christian Educators feel the least confidence. And the clergy aren't really of much help. Many people who work in parishes are struggling to articulate a coherent and faithful sexual ethic that they can both teach and live by.

As an example of what form this kind of Christian formation might take, Ms. Kimball described her experience in forming a small intentional community committed to listening carefully as two questions were explored. First, members considered "What about your life experience as a sexual being has been holy?" Second, "What about your life experience as a sexual being has been broken?" She states, "Following our own life stories we "listened" to scripture and finally we attempted to tell the truth by articulating our common ground, our common understanding, and we developed five foundations for human sexuality."

You are holy.
Sexuality is good.
Sexuality is powerful.
You are not alone.
You must take responsibility.

A senior High retreat designed around these learnings, "Being Christian: Being Sexual," was attended by more than 100 people. Following the retreat, most who had attended indicated that the weekend had made a significant change in their views about sex, and that they would choose to wait "much longer" to have sex than they had previously thought. Ms Kimball states that she "was pleased" by this result.

By "showing up" where young people congregate, rather than waiting for them to come to us, we are put into position to "listen." We are invited to really listen, to hear what is being said and not said. "Once I have shown up and listened I have earned the privilege .to tell the truth as I know it and the chances are good I will be heard," Ms Kimball said.

"Telling the truth means being an adult consciously in relationship with a younger person; articulating my own Christian faith and being willing to discuss hard moral issues or theological concepts." But first we must find a way to "get real," to sort out the contradictions in our own minds, and reconcile "the enormous gulf between academic church theologians, the actions of General Convention and front line youth ministers."

Ms. Kimball is currently an adjunct faculty member and consultant to the University of Minnesota's Youth Development Leadership Program. She was Canon Missioner for Youth and Congregational Development for the Episcopal Diocese of Minnesota from 1995 to 2000. Kimball was Youth and Young Adult Ministry Coordinator for Province VIII during the first half of the 90's while serving as Youth Minister for two congregations in California from 1995 to1992.

Organized annually by seminarians, the Harvey Lectureship is named in honor of The Very Rev. Hudnall Harvey, Dean of the Seminary of the Southwest from 1968 until his death in 1972.